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[...I'm a week late in posting this -- unfortunately my blog time has been cut in half! But I'm hoping to update it at least once a week from here on out.]
You won’t usually see me in photos — let’s just say I’d prefer to stay behind the camera. However, after Dhara was born, I started thinking that for posterity’s sake, I needed to be purposeful in being in the occasional family photo, like here and here. Even though I dislike being in photos, I think it’s important that my children have photos of us together. I want them to have photos of a young mama with her young kiddos. There’s something beautiful about seeing a picture of your parents when they were young parents. I want to make sure that in all the hustle and bustle of this life, my kids have a few pictures of me to look back on — even if it means only once or twice a year like Mother’s Day and Christmas.
Mother’s Day this year was pretty swell. It started off on Saturday with Greg’s parents coming into town and cooking us an amazing meal of grilled barbeque and teriaki chicken, grilled steak, grilled pork tenderloin, beans, quinoa, cornbread, lemon meringue pie, cherry pie and a large bowl of delicious fruit. What a blessing that was! Thank you Dad and Mom, it meant so much to us!
On Sunday (Mother’s Day), we ended up staying home from church because the boys have been really fussy due to gas. Greg let me get a few hours of rest while he watched the boys — a real treat since sleep is so hard to come by these days! I was also given the gift of an awesome, awesome retro pistachio colored Kitchen Aid Artisan stand mixer. And lastly, my darling husband and daughter got the garden ready for this year’s small crop — there was no way I could do it with the twins this year.
love how my little busy bee, dhara, is perched on the edge of the garden bed
[If we're friends on Facebook, you may have noticed my love for Instagram. Been using it everyday since I got the app a couple weeks ago -- it's such a great way to capture life everyday, because for the most part I don't have a camera handy, but I do have a cell phone! Love it!]
Mother’s Day got me thinking… In the 4 years we’ve been married, we’ve been blessed with three children. I always wanted kids, a large family even. However I must say that child rearing is hard — the hardest thing I’ve ever done — and my kids are young, all two and under! The challenges only get bigger from here on out. Motherhood means laying my life down for them on a daily basis — not an easy task! It takes discipline and selflessness. And yet, there’s a joy that comes when I look at my children, even though I know life isn’t easy. There’s a love that grows for them every single day.
I feel so blessed to be called a mother, and be given such a cool and out-of-this-world-rewarding job to care for these little treasures. [2011, 2010].
rohan [left] / kieran [right]
rohan [left] / kieran [right] by CHP
The boys are already a month old! It’s the weirdest thing to look at the two of them and know they are mine — these two sweet sweet baby boys. I know the common term among little boys is that most are “mama’s boys,” but I never really liked that term — maybe it’s because I usually like to go against the grain of tradition. Dhara is my mama’s girl — she’s my buddy, my little partner in crime. However, Greg tells me that in time these boys will occupy a part of my heart that not even my little girl can. I’m excited to see what that feels like. We shall wait and see. : )
Rohan is my baby with the stormy blue-grey eyes. He’s the elder and the smaller of the two. He smiles all the time in his sleep — his smiles revealing two huge dimples which I love. He makes the funniest old man noises when you move him around in your arms — I joke that it’s because he hates being manhandled. The past few weeks have been hard on him because he seems to be having a bad bout of gas which often wakes him up from his slumber. If he’s not troubled by gas, he seems to be a very content baby who loves watching his surroundings with great big curious eyes.
Kieran is my sturdy boy. He’s strong and contemplative and loud. His sturdiness reminds me of Dhara when she was born — she was also a strong little baby. Most people who see Kieran say he looks like me. He loves when you talk to him. He’s beginning to smile more and more, and like Dhara, he’s got one dimple on the left cheek. He loves to sleep and can sleep for a few hours at a time during the day.
kieran [left] / rohan [right] by CHP
I’m not going to lie — caring for two babies (and a toddler) day in and day out is not easy. I never thought it would be easy, but I never thought it would be this hard! The looong nights of feedings, the endless diaper changes, constant bouts of gas, and two babies crying at the same time. Whew! Sometimes I just want to give up. But the thing is, I can’t give up — this is a train that’s going whether I like the grueling pace or not — no stops, no breaks. I know this newborn stage is rough, especially since they were born 4 weeks prematurely. Even though it’s rough, I know it’s also fleeting and will be done before I know it. A part of me is looking forward to a couple months from now when they are more engaging and sleep longer through the night! All in all, we are totally in love with them and feel so blessed to be given two little boys even though it may be hard at times. They are a gift and we are grateful.
rohan [left] / kieran [right] by CHP
A huge thank you to Chelsea Hudson Photography for the amazing photos of the boys! If you remember our love story from a month ago, we won a photo shoot and we chose to use it on the boys! Love her stuff!!! Check out her blog for more of her lovely work.
Our twin boys are finally here! Meet Rohan Hudson + Kieran Tozer. (First names pronounced “row-haan” and “keer-in.”) And 4 weeks early too! Rohan and Kieran, fraternal twins, were born at 36 weeks gestation via cesarean section on Saturday, March 24th, 2012 because my water broke at 3 AM that morning.
Rohan, the elder of the two [by a minute], was born at 9:32 AM at 5 pounds/6 ounces and 19.25 inches long. Kieran, was born at 9:33 AM at 5 pounds/13.4 ounces and 18.5 inches long. Greg and I are truly in awe of these little people. It’s the sweetest thing to see our two boys laying together in their cot, forehead to forehead like best buds.
Like Dhara’s name, it was important to us that we choose meaningful names that represent our heritage. The boys’ first names are Indian. And if you are wondering about their middle names, Greg was keen on naming them after mighty men of God who lived their lives for the glory and honor of God. Men who made an impact for the Kingdom. Men who the boys can look to as a godly example and inspiration as they grow into men. When Greg told me of his idea for middle names I immediately fell in love with it, hence the names Hudson and Tozer!
Rohan: in Sanskrit, it means the one who takes the higher path; ascending / Hudson: after Hudson Taylor; radical missionary to China, man of faith, purpose, and resolve — a man who changed a nation.
Kieran: in Sanskrit, it means ray of light / Tozer: after A. W. Tozer; Christian writer, a man of clarity and understanding, a man who knew God, encouraged others and helped others passionately pursue God.
our little smith dudes
Health-wise, we are so thankful that the boys have normal levels of jaundice, unlike what we went through with the Dhara-girl. And my incision from the c-section is healing nicely. Exciting news — we also may be going home today! [We joke that the babies aren't really ours until we have permission from the hospital to take them home -- until then, the babies belong to the hospital.] Overall, we are so grateful for all the prayers and love we received these past 9 months, and are so excited to now be a family of five!
Only a few more weeks before we see 2 of everything — for the rest of our lives.
Today marks my 35th week of pregnancy, and I can truly say I’m so ready to meet these little guys. While I’m SUPER excited to be a mom of twin boys, I’m also intimidated at the thought of how my life will change taking care of two babies in addition to a toddler, and how I’ll ever love them as much as I love Dhara. How can that much of me go around, and go around thoroughly? I hear this is a question most moms wonder when pregnant with their second child. But it’s truly a valid question, and one I am anxious to find the answer to.
As of now, I’m having to go into the city for monitoring and ultrasounds twice a week! This weeks’ monitoring proved that one twin sleeps while the other takes the night watch — they aren’t usually awake together. Position-wise, Baby A is breech, and Baby B is transverse — if they decide to stay in these positions I am quite certainly a candidate for a c-section between 37-38 weeks. I’m coming to terms with this if it’s what needs to happen, but I’m still praying for a miracle!
In other baby news… We get the question quite often, “So have you picked out names???” Sadly we have to tell those folks that the boys’ names are a secret until their birth — it’s more fun that way. Though one thing you can be sure of is — our names don’t rhyme — no matter how much my grandma would like them to. : )
My sweetie-pie grandma also tends to think twins should always dress identically. I was initially super against this notion of dressing twins identically because I’m a real proponent of having one’s own identity and being your own person. BUT, as I’ve shopped around for boys clothes these past few months I’ve found that I can’t just buy one really cute outfit because the other twin would need to look equally as cute. : ) SOOO, on occasion you will find my twins wearing identical outfits or outfits that are identical but in different colors. Speaking of boys clothes, I’ve finally discovered I love little boys in cardigans and I love stripes! The options for cute boys clothes are so limited because most come adorned with little funny characters or cars, trucks, and dinosaurs. Good thing there are still stripes! And leather suspenders are definitely a plus. ; )
Also, we are officially owners of a mini van! Never wanted to be the mom driving a mini van — we wanted something more like a Suburban — but after driving the van for a few weeks now, I can vouch that it’s a very, very comfortable ride. Plus, I can’t imagine toting 2 carseats back and forth from a Suburban — can you?
As these last couple weeks come to a close, I still have to wash baby clothes and cloth diapers, hang the swinging bassinet cradle, possibly find a king bed on craigslist, steam clean our bedroom carpet, and pack my bags. Crazy that two will be joining us in no time at all…but oh so exciting!
Today, I am officially 30 weeks pregnant with our twin boys. Twins are known to come earlier than singletons — which makes me wonder how much more time I have with my little family before our lives change forever. I especially think about the time I have with Dhara. She knows about her brothers, but she doesn’t really know what’s coming! I pray she embraces the change! Anyway, I’m hoping to make it to 37 weeks, at least. Dhara arrived at 40 weeks on the dot!
These past couple weeks I’ve begun to feel more preggo. I feel like a waddler. I’m having more and more back/hip pain if I stand or walk around too much — shopping excursions with Dhara are becoming more difficult. I usually like to save all my errands for one day of the week, but these days more than a couple hours on my feet means pain. I feel pretty sore turning in bed, and getting in and out of bed must look pretty hilarious. And every hour or so (maybe even more) my tummy tightens up like a basketball from a Braxton Hicks contraction — I don’t remember having them as often with Dhara. I’m feeling a whole lot of movement — these guys are definitely trying to get comfortable in there, but it must hard due to the lack of space. I do feel more movement than I feel kicks; although once in a while I’ll feel a strong kick which really takes me by surprise! Even more recently I’ve begun to feel little hiccups which fondly remind me of Dhara, she used to get them all the time.
I still can’t believe there’s two of them in there. I can’t wait to meet them, see what they look like — if they look the same or if they look different, if they look like Greg or look like me, kiss their little feet, snuggle close, give them soothing Indian oil massages, and tote them around in a comfy wrap. So exciting! Let’s hope they turn in the right direction come delivery time! Next week I hope to post some of the baby sewing projects I’ve been working on — some cute stuff, stay tuned!
Call me crazy, but I’m determined to do it! I honestly hate buying disposable diapers. It irks me to the core. However, we do on occasion buy disposables for outings and nighttime use, but Dhara mostly lives in her clothies — which I love. But the thought of cloth diapering 2 babies is daunting — good thing there are parents of multiples who do it! Like here, and here. Oh, and here.
So what does my newborn stash look like? Simple, all prefolds and covers! I feel like they grow so quick in the initial stages that it’s more affordable to just go with prefolds. Thank goodness Greg has been so open to cloth from the beginning (with Dhara)! Now I just need to get my mom and sister on board — they will also be changing diapers since there are more bums to go around. Good thing cloth is super cute — I’m excited to see these two little guys’ bums wrapped in cloth.
Our Newborn Stash:
36 newborn Indian prefolds from GMD / $24 dozen (purchased for Dhara)
10-12 workhorse fitted newborn diapers from GMD / $4.95 each
4 snappi fasteners / $3.95 each (purchased for Dhara)
2 Thirsties x-small covers / $11.50 each
3 Weehuggers size 1 covers / $16 each (on sale)
2 Imse Vimse Organic Fox Fibre newborn covers / $15 each (on sale)
Baby Bum Drops wipes solution / $12 (makes 50 cups)
cloth wipes / $9.95 dozen (purchased for Dhara)
2 handmade wet bags
diaper sprayer / $44.95 (if Greg doesn’t decide to make it himself)
It might look like alot, but some of these items were purchased for Dhara when she was a baby, and newer items can be used for future babies. So there you go, cloth diapering 2 babies for the first couple months and more — I’ll let you know if this really works! : ) Oh, and if any of you cloth diapering moms have any advice or recommendations, please feel free to chime in!
I had my fourth ultrasound this week at 26 weeks / 4 days. It’s always a relief to see that the babies are growing healthy and strong. They move around alot these days too — to the point where I can see my tummy jump in various spots. I don’t remember Dhara having as much movement in utero. The perintologist, a chatterbox for sure, said I most probably would not go past 38 weeks, but could go as early as 36 weeks! Ahhh, that feels so soon! The following ultrasound photos are from 23 weeks gestation. Here are the most recent stats:
baby A: 23 weeks – 1.9 pounds / 26 weeks – 2.4 pounds, 149 beats/min
baby B: 23 weeks – 1.9 pounds / 26 weeks – 2.7 pounds, 145 beats/min
Back in mid August 2011, when we first found out we were pregnant with our second (at that point in our minds it was a singleton), we decided we’d like to look into birthing at a local birthing center. So we drove an hour to the closest birthing center — a cute, old, white house — and took the tour. While it seemed like a nice option, we felt that birthing at home would be a similar option, if not a better option. I didn’t feel inclined to birth on their queen sized beds for some reason — it was a very clean facility, but just imagine sheets from the 70′s. Although their birthing tub seemed more up my alley for a water birth — dim lights and a calm atmosphere. But we still concluded that the birth center was not for us. We really like the idea of a home birth, but not in my parents house! …Maybe one of these days we’ll have my home water birth if God grants me my dream of a cozy old farmhouse or victorian cottage that Greg could fix up.
Now that we’re having two bambinos, the both of us seem to be the most comfortable birthing in a hospital. There just seems to be too many risk factors involved. One being that Baby A be in the head down position to have a normal birth and avoid a c-section. The other reason being that Dhara had a high case of jaundice, and there is a chance that these babies could too; although we are praying that they don’t, because it’s really hard on our hearts and their little bodies.
Overall, everything is going great, and there are no complications, thank the good Lord! We are getting our room ready for two little ones to join us, although I’m still not sure what we’re going to do with Dhara since she still sleeps in our bed. We finally found a double stroller we love, and started a little pile of boy clothes — although, I must say, boy shopping is no fun. No, not at all!
Now that I’m all caught up with blog posts, I’m excited to blog about all things baby related — sewing + knitting projects, thoughts/ideas, baby products. Almost 2.5 months to go before they arrive, and so much to do! I still have a couple photo sessions to finish editing, and a basement to finish cleaning, but I’m so eager to tackle the long list of projects I have in mind, figure out which cloth diapers I want to use for newborns, decide on a woven/stretchy wrap, pick a piece of artwork for the boys, etc.
Before Dhara was born, I knew I wanted to get her something special that she could hold onto as she grew. And being that I’m an undercover independent/local art enthusiast, we decided on this piece for Dhara. It now hangs above her crib in a vintage styled frame. I think the same would only be appropriate for these two boys on the way. I want something adventurous, boyishly whimsical, something artistic and that sparks the imagination. I finally narrowed down my search to Theater Clouds by Elly Mackay. Her stuff is amazing and so appropriate for children, especially her boy prints — I didn’t want anything cheesy. I honestly think it’s easier to choose for a girl! But we are leaning towards these two prints by Elly — one for each boy:
“He Found The Rarest Of Thistles By His Rock In The Woods“
and “In His World, He Was King“
the following single print came in as a close second, but then meant both boys would somehow have to share their print, “Side By Side“
I love Elly’s creative process. Small Magazine says about her work, “The themes are dream-like with references to childhood and storybooks half remembered and half forgotten.” She creates her images by painting on yupo paper and cutting it into layers and setting it up in a miniature theater. She plays with lights and filters to create atmosphere and then takes photos of the scene. Way cool. Plus I just love the fact that Elly grew up in an old church in the country!
I’m more than halfway there!!! Ahhhh!!! Today my babies are the length of a banana, and look like this in the womb.
As some of you know already, I had my 20 week ultrasound this week. My mom came along with me since Greg couldn’t get out of a special week long class for work. It was here I found out that we are having two baby boys! It came as somewhat as a shock to me because I was almost sure, or let’s say expecting that it would be a boy and girl. After the tech revealed the first gender, a boy, I was hugely relieved that I would get my boy! But then when she revealed that the second was also a boy, I was kinda dumbfounded — not at all because I didn’t want two boys, but that I wouldn’t get another sweet little girl. But then again, I have no grid for boys since I don’t have any, so I’m sure I’ll be saying the same for boys after these little guys join our family! On a side note, I was also thinking, “What in the world am I going to do with all of Dhara’s clothes!” TWO BOYS!
After the initial shock of two boys, I went ahead and texted Greg at his class — because he wanted to be one of the first to know, granted! : ) I texted him from my mom’s phone, “It’s Susan…both boys!” Greg texted back with a, “Praise God! We are going to have lots of fun!” All the men in our families were ecstatic! All the women were like, “Wow, what are we going to do now?” : ) In the end, God knows we need two little rambunctious boys to liven things up a bit, not that Dhara doesn’t already add to the fun!
The fact that both are boys is still sinking in; I recently came across a photog’s blog where she photographed twin boys (with their older sister), and boy did it make my heart melt! See here. TWO BOYS! Bring it!
Here are our little guys — both were ever so active! They were cooperative for the tech doing the ultrasound, but sooo active and completely healthy and right on track in their growth based on the ultrasound, thank the good Lord. I was initially worried that I wasn’t feeling enough movement for having 2 babies inside me, but I’ve been feeling more and more as I get farther along, and it was amazing to see how much they moved during the ultrasound, yet how little I actually felt.
baby A – weighing in at 13 ounces
baby B – weighing in at 12 ounces
One of the first things I did when I found out Dhara was a girl, was go shopping for some girl things. For these little guys, I wanted two of these High Seas onies for a photoshoot — the perfect blend of vintage/retro, but it seems they are all sold out for now, bummer. One thing is for sure, boys clothes are not as interesting as girl’s clothes, but it will be my aim to fix that.
How do I feel? I threw up for the first time yesterday. I was brushing my teeth in the morning and when I was ready to rinse, the dry heaves began. Not fun, but ever so grateful that this pregnancy has been simple thus far. Although, I don’t feel like I’m eating enough for twins, and when I do eat, I love seafood, yogurt, fruit, and pizza. And although I’ve never really enjoyed a tall glass of milk, I’ve been using Dhara’s milk (full fat with cream on top!) from a local farm for cereal and my husband’s homemade masala chai (amazing! especially alongside a slice of warm pumpkin pie in the evening before bed.).
So 4 more months to go! It could be a little less depending on when these guys want to come! Twins are known for coming before full term, and I secretly hope they do!
I had my second prenatal appointment yesterday with Kathy Slone’s practice. It’s the practice I switched to much later in my last pregnancy. It’s a practice of 4 midwives. I met with Kathy today — mid-sixties, has the most piercing blues eyes you’ve ever met, the kindest smile, and many years of natural birthing practices behind her. This is the reason we decided to stick with her, and to a midwife in general when I was pregnant with Dhara. We’ve decided to stick with her for this twins pregnancy as well. It’s a good fit for Greg and I since we prefer something a little bit more homespun.
For all twin pregnancies, Kathy works with a highly specialized perintologist who will also be present at the birth in case complications arise. Greg and I felt really comfortable upon hearing that this OB is head of the department and that he loves delivering breech babies rather than conducting a cesarean — hard to find that in this day and age. He will also be in charge of reading all my ultrasounds every month and making sure both babies look good throughout the pregnancy. So we really have the best of both [midwife/doctor] worlds, as Kathy says. I also love that the office manager, Kim, knows exactly who I am when I call or come in for an appointment. My only dislike is that we have to drive 35-45 minutes to the midwife office and to the hospital, both of which are downtown; versus the local hospital which is 15-20 minutes away. I was also looking forward to having a water birth, but I guess that’s not advisable with twins. Maybe next time! : )
At my appointment I measured nicely at 15.5 weeks and everything looks to be on track. We, even Dhara, got to hear heartbeats. I also love that all my questions were answered non-rushed and very laid back. Kathy says that I’m short waisted, so come March, people will think I’m about to blow [oh no!], but that I can certainly go till at least 37/38 weeks.
So it looks like this twin thing is no joke. It’s for real, for real. I’ve been feeling great except for a case of sciatica which has been causing me discomfort since I was 7 weeks pregnant. I also wake up periodically around 4 AM and can’t go back to sleep for an hour or two. And most foods aren’t tasty, or I should say they aren’t satisfying. I’m craving things like sushi, sushi, and more sushi, shrimp, deli sandwiches, chili, pizza, and grapes. And yes, I know that I should be staying away from things like sushi and sandwiches, but we did indulge in sushi just once last week at a local sushi joint — and it was truly the best meal I’ve had in weeks! [By the way, I got the cooked options.]
Anyway, we can’t wait till November end when we find out the genders of our babies! Until then I don’t think I can begin all the sewing, knitting, and creating I want to do for these two new little ones! More on this later.
